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Tag: Love

Sometimes getting nothing is a better gift idea

Naughty Valentine’s Day Bear: Medium Plush Teddy Bear

— Torpedo your relationship with a teddy bear
— Because it’s not enough that people wear tacky slogan t-shirts they bought on the Internet, now teddy bears are doing it too
— “Mini t-shirt is removable” Well then what is the point of any of this
— Cute if you put aside the shirt, but I can’t separate the bear’s smug smile from his intentions, so I think I’m gonna go in another direction this Valentine’s Day

Related items:

A slightly less terrible option

This feels both less horrible but more dated than the other bears

Someone apparently bought both that bear and this mug to really drive home how unlucky his significant other is

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Level up your mediocre cuddling

The Cuddle Sutra: An Unabashed Celebration of the Ultimate Intimacy

— 50 positions, of which 1 or 2 will undoubtably aggravate some sports injury you suffered 20 years ago but never treated. Live dangerously and play some cuddle roulette
— A lose-lose for teenage boys who buy this — the illustrated people keep their clothes on, but it’ll still be morbidly embarrassing if your parents or friends find it
— Includes a section on “hand dancing,” which may lead to all sorts of things up to and including a hand puppet show
— The “Look Inside!” preview gives away a handful of the cuddle positions if you’re squeezed for both money and time and need a quick tip in a hurry

Related items:

I doubt these animals needed this book or agreed to be on the cover, but let’s see them try to take the publisher to court over it

If they can write 160 pages about hugging, you have no excuse not to finish your novel

Second edition! I wonder what changed since the first was published

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